Time has screamed by – February came in with a drunken mix of freezing days and unseasonal warmth. It also came in with the completion of a two projects – flooring in the basement and a cleaning of the chimney. This President’s day, there will be assembly of display cases and kitty litter cabinets.
I’m also not writing as much as I’d like, but that’s not unusual. I’ve reached the point where every sentence I write has me thinking, “Is this worthwhile? Did I screw this up again?” I’m having doubts about everything after a 2023 where only 2 stories were published, and both under my alter-egotists name. The stories I wrote in 2023? Not one landed. All of them have me questioning if I got long COVID after WorldCon in Chicago and my brain cannot construct anything with emotional connection.
My friend Angela and I reconnected a few weeks ago and she reminded me I wasn’t alone. She’d just finished her first short film but was having editing-room doubts about quality. Atop that, she lost her composer and needed to find another one. But, she was seeing a little light through the clouds. The other collaborates helped her see a way through the editing challenges and a new composer was in the wings.
Meanwhile, I feel a bit lost. The only commiseration I’ve had is with Alan Wake. I kid you not. For our date nights, my wife and I play Alan Wake II. We’re exploring the different chapters one at a time… and Alan’s experiences in the Dark Place ring very close to home. How close?
Irony is – this got me writing right as we were playing. I feel like I should absorb some more media – different media. Watch and view, instead of write and analyze. I’m in a Dark Place of my own and working my way out, one keystroke at a time.
Biomechanoid Blues 